Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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