Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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