She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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