why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Brb crying the tears of my youth
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
