Duck Duck Cougar?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
