that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
