How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
