I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
