Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
