My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
