i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
