hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
