I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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