I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
