Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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