he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
