he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
