Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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