found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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