The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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