How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
