Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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