Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
