I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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