that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
