i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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