Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
