Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
