Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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