If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
