You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Found your dick twin last night
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
