p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
