Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
