Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
