I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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