i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
