hotel room ftw
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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