I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
