Buhtt sex?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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