pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
