And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
