OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
