FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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