my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
