I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
love makes seman taste better
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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