Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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