You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
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