I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
