you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
