he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
